dating ludmilla - Dating in the church
When someone is finding their identity in a relationship, it usually ends really poorly.
Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives.
They are being discipled, whether that be organizationally or organically, whether they are part of a church’s system for discipleship or they just found an older man or an older woman and invited that person to speak into their lives.
We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and women who are “not yet married.” Their season of life awakens many desires and hopes, uncertainties and insecurities, and tricky pastoral questions.
To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.
I often know who is dating well before anyone else because they will secretly hold hands while sitting together on Sunday thinking I can’t see them. I’m always cautious of someone who wants to hide their dating life from their “friends.” Q. That doesn’t mean that the breakup won’t hurt, but if you love them by helping them follow and pursue God, it won’t leave scars. Rejection, while painful, does not impact our identity. You’re not staying with them because you care about them. What else have you learned from watching couples do this well and less well over the years? The people who date well follow a few simple steps: — They pursue character, not charisma. Don’t date them even if they’re rich and beautiful.
What advice do you give to couples starting to date at church? Make every decision in your relationship based on making sure that they will be better off because of your influence in their life. Our identity is found in Christ and what He has done for us. You’re staying with them because you’re comfortable, haven’t found anyone better and don’t want to do what needs to be done.
I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.
And so I think the church really serves and helps Christian singles consider marriage and consider dating.
It only becomes risky if you choose not to follow God when you date within the church.
Here are two of the concerns I hear from people considering dating and what I tell them: If we break up we can’t attend the same church: I’ve only seen that happen when a couple doesn’t listen to God about tying their intimacy to a marriage commitment.
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