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“People will have texty, flirty exchanges without actually talking on the phone or meeting in real life. Figure out whether or not this person is someone you actually want to meet in real life,” she says. And my strongest piece of advice is do not waste your time in a lengthy text, flirty exchange with someone, which people often do, because it may turn out that you are connecting with someone online, and you have nothing in common at all.”The League, a popular dating app among millennials, recently conducted a study of 20,000 users about their dating habits and found that the average first date is 55 minutes long. But do something, so that you have something in common to talk about.
Does sitting across from a stranger in a loud bar making small talk for 55 minutes sound like your idea of fun? Coles also says this type of date places too much pressure on both parties. It will be so much easier.”Texting or talking on the phone for a period of time can manufacture a sense of false familiarity.
While the concepts of Tinder and Bumble may sound like a foreign language to some, anybody can — and should — use these dating apps, says Coles.
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You have to look for the fresh produce aisle,” says Coles.
“If you grow up in a small community, you're desperate for a friend's cousin to come to town for some new person to connect with.
If you are approaching every connection asking yourself “Is this the one? “You will inevitably be disappointed by the answer,” she adds.
Instead, Coles advises asking a different question: Is this someone I want to see again?
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No need to waste time on long surveys either: just a couple questions and the app will start working its magic for you.
Or so says Joanna Coles, the Chief Content Officer of Hearst Magazines and author of the new book "Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in the Digital World." Just like one cannot get behind the wheel without learning the rules of the road, you can’t successfully navigate online dating without understanding the terrain.
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