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What Kay and I do have is a marriage centered on Christ, specifically focused on glorifying God.We remain committed to each other because we remain committed to Christ and his work within us.We are not affiliated with any particular religion, although we have members of all faiths and many with none.
One of our bedrock governing principles in biblical dating — and in how we treat our brothers and sisters in Christ generally — is not to "defraud" our single brothers and sisters by implying a greater level of commitment between us and them than actually exists (see 1 Thessalonians 4:6).
I discuss this principle more fully in "Principles for Drawing Boundaries" and "What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?
Perhaps both of you are active in the same campus ministry, you go to the same church.
Over time, maybe you take some of the same classes, live near one another, etc.
In that context, living with the desires I've just described, how likely do you think it is that over the course of two or three or four years — some couples date over most of their college years — you will be able to maintain enough emotional discipline and distance to avoid acting emotionally and relationally "married"?
I've spoken to numerous "long-dating" couples, in college and beyond, who other than living together, could do little to intertwine their lives any more than they already are." As a quick refresher, we can "defraud" our brother or sister in a dating context by showing or encouraging a level of intimacy — either emotionally or physically — that the Bible seems to reserve for marriage and marriage only.If we act like we're married before we've made that commitment, we're defrauding (and sinning).After three decades in ministry, I've noticed that it's not unusual for couples to float through their first year or two of marriage in a love-blinded bliss.But, frankly, that didn't happen for Kay and me.Our first two years together were the most difficult. If we both hadn't been committed to Jesus Christ and we both hadn't agreed that divorce was not an option, we wouldn't have stayed together. Kay even said that in those first few years of marriage, she often wished that one of two things would happen: either she'd be widowed, or God would change his mind and say divorce was now okay!Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating